As I have grown in my relationship with God (or so it feels like I've grown), worship looks different that it used to. Worship used to mean singing along to the songs at church. I'm not sure if I really listened to the words, or if I was just singing because I love to sing. Lately, within the last year or so, worship has changed. I don't save it for church. In fact, one of my favorite ways to worship is not even at church (although corporate worship is important and should be done).
I have grown to love this process.
-First I grab my journal, or just a notebook, and a writing utensil.
-Then, I turn on worship music. I enjoy Spotify because I have made a playlist that plays only worship songs that I have chosen. This helps me hear the songs that are most worshipful to me.
-Lastly, I let the songs play, and really try to listen to the words. As I'm listening, I begin writing down lines in the song that mean something to me. In the end, it may not make sense to read straight through, but I was allowing my heart to stew on those phrases and what the song is really saying.
This process has begun to find it's way into my day more and more often. However, sometimes I don't write anything down. Instead I close my eyes and really try to focus on God, in trinity form, simmering the words. I pour my heart out to God, which
Hopefully, you are allowing your heart the privilege of true worship. I find it difficult to be a Christ follower if I'm not surrendering my life to Christ in worship. By truly worshipping, you are submitting. You are handing over the reigns to the One in charge. I think once we get that down, it will be easier for us to live it out on a daily basis.
Thanks to these moments of true worship, my heart feels like it might explode sometimes with love for God. There is no feeling like it that anything on this earth can produce. My heart and my soul long to be in Heaven in the presence of the Holy Trinity. Just thinking about it makes me wish I could just teleport there. Too bad teleportation is only in the movies.... ;)
Sometimes my heart aches so badly to be with my Lord that it makes me sad. It makes me sad because I realize after a few minutes that I've forgotten that I would be leaving behind a husband and a sweet little boy, my son. I am sad, but I am happy at the same time. I'm sad for my family, if I were to be at home with the Lord anytime soon, or even later in life, but my heart sings at the thought of being with the LORD! It's such a conflicting feeling. I know God gave me this family to experience tangible love, and to live out my commitment to Him - but in the end, I still can't help looking forward to eternity with Him!
This quote, which I didn't find until just now, says my thoughts:
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never really meant to satisfy, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing... I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death... I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others to do the same." (C. S. Lewis
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