You hate me... but I LOVE you.

LOVE... 

A few months ago I had my brother (who is a professional tattoo artist) tattoo the Greek word for "Agape" on the inside of my left wrist. I have always wanted a tattoo on my wrist, but I didn't want just any tattoo. I wanted one that meant something to me. After spending several years thinking about it, I finally decided on the word "Agape" written in it's original language. I chose this word because of the unconditional LOVE Jesus Christ has for me - and what better place to put it than the place (or close to) where the nails pierced my LORD's hands/wrists so that I can spend eternity with Him!

The reason I chose this word is for it's meaning. Agape means "unconditional love".  This is the kind of love Christ Jesus has for us. There is nothing we could do that would make Him stop loving us. Many people now days think they have unconditional love for others.  Especially if you ask an engaged couple, or a newly married couple, they might both tell you that they share an Agape love.  Unconditional.  Yet, the minute one of them leaves wet clothes in the washer for three days and forgets to put them in the dryer (and we all know what happens when wet clothes sit in the washer)... somehow that unconditional love finds itself hiding in a closet buried deep beneath a pile of smelly shoes. Sometimes it doesn't have to be an act that can set the other person off, it can be a sentence said with the wrong inflection.  A sentence meant to be harmless that was taken the wrong way, and in a matter of seconds the whole neighborhood knows that you are fighting.  

So what does REAL unconditional love look like?? 

Unconditional love is:
...respecting the person who disrespects you. 
...loving the person who hates you.
...speaking kind words to the person who just spoke hatefully to you.
...being kind to the one who was just rude to you. 
...sharing with the person who is capable of getting something for themselves.
...being kind to someone even when they hurt you.
...loving a person and being kind and forgiving them, even if they have wronged you.

I think the key to unconditional love is FORGIVENESS. 

In order to TRULY be able to love someone in this way, you have to forgive them when they do things that might make you angry or hurt, etc.  Jesus forgives every sin we have committed our whole lives (if we ask Him to). We, in turn, should continually forgive others, EVEN if they don't ask us to, and ESPECIALLY when they don't deserve it.  

This is unconditional love. 

I have a reminder on my wrist. I put it there so I would always see it. To remind me to have this kind of love for others, and also to remember the kind of love my LORD has for me. :) 

A life of true joy with a sacrificial Lamb

I guess I have always been one of those people who thought I was living the Christian life like I was supposed to: 

          *I have gone to church since I was very young.  

          * I was saved and baptized at 7 years old. 

          *I had given my life to Christ (or so I said verbally, often).  

          *I have loved God my entire life.  Etc.  

However, recently (not sure at what exact point) I began really trying to live out what I proclaim.  I must say, it is definitely NOT easy.  I have tried to really think about my words and actions before moving forward with them and tried to make sure they fall in line with what the Bible teaches and how Jesus would act and talk.  My first attempts were with my husband.  This was very hard at times.  My selfishness wanted to act and talk the way I wanted to.  If I was mad about something, I wanted to say mean things and yell.  I did not want to stop and think about what I was doing wrong in the situation.  I did not want to stop and make sure I was respecting my husband.  I can remember distinctly feeling rage fill the inside of my body, rage that wanted to be released SO badly, and I remember my heart (where Jesus resides) telling me that was not the way to handle things.  It has been some of the most difficult things I have made myself do.  However, I know that those were the right things to do, and I can tell my heart is better for it.  Just by trying to start working on those little things has made me continue to grow closer to God in my relationship with Him.  

Let me be clear, though, I am not trying to work on these things because I need to gain favor with God, or am trying to earn my way to heaven.  The Bible clearly teaches us that those are not the things that save us, "Jesus told him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one can come to the Father except through me.'" John 14:6 (NLT).  But it also tells us that, "...someone may argue, 'Some people have faith; others have good deeds.' But I say, 'How can you show me your faith if you don't have good deeds?  I will show you my faith by my good deeds.'"  James 2:18 (NLT).  

I fully believe that if we are to claim to be Christians, we have to strive to live that life.  We can't have one foot in and one foot out.  That would be lukewarm, and God clearly hates lukewarm.  "So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth."  Reveltaion 3:16 (NIV84).  For the longest time I have believed I was a "hot" Christian.  I thought I was a prime example of what a Christian life should look like.  Boy, was I wrong!  I am so glad that I have chosen to seek God's face on this, because there is an amazing joy and peace and contentment that comes with TRULY surrendering your life over to Christ (i.e., not saying the words you would respond with, but saying what Christ would respond with.  Not treating someone like you would treat them, but treating them like Christ would treat them.  Not gossiping like you want to, but keeping your mouth shut and changing the subject to something that is not putting others down.  Etc.).  There is no other feeling like it in the world.  I believe every human being was created by God, as the Bible tells us, and we were BORN to live a live in fellowship with Him.  And until we start living that way, we find a void and emptiness in our lives (although, I firmly believe that some people have ignored this void in their life for so long and so passionately that they barely are able to detect it).  When we finally do discover what we were created for, it is so amazing I almost can't even describe it.  

My heart breaks for people who lived like I did (and still do at times, because I am FAR from doing anything perfectly).  They are searching for happiness.  Happiness they search for in THINGS or PEOPLE.  True happiness and joy cannot be found in anything other than CHRIST JESUS!  That is a promise I can proclaim boldly.  I thought I was happy before.  But I now know that that I wasn't.  

My heart's desire is to see myself, and the entire church body (across the globe, as the church is not confined to a building or evening a country) COMPLETELY and FULLY surrender EVERYTHING in our lives and selves to Christ!  When I realize the magnitude of God, and who He is, and then realize the magnitude of worshiping Him like we are designed to, I realize I was doing it all wrong.  When I stopped trying to "be" a Christian, and just started LOVING GOD, it all starting falling into place.  There is no love like the LOVE of GOD.  Because God is LOVE.  He, Himself, IS love.  So to feel Him, is like no other feeling.

Really think about if your life has the fruit of someone who follows Christ.

John 15:1-27 ESV 

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."

Take the time, right now, to truly think about the fact that we cannot spend eternity, our life after death, with Him without realizing that we are sinners.  Sin cannot be in His presence.  And yes, Hell is a real place where sin resides.  We have to ask Jesus to wipe those sins from our lives in order to be in God's presence for eternity.  Have FAITH that God is who He says He is - that Jesus is God and man.  That Jesus was the sacrificial Lamb for our sins.  He was and is perfect, without blemish.  His blood covered our sins for all time.  Believe that.  Know that you need HIM.  And give up your LIFE to follow Him.  

    

Consequences and a Bail-Out

Many would say that discipline for your child is essential.  Most would say that without punishment of some kind our children would be a disastrous mess.

We all know that when we do things that are wrong, there must be consequences for our actions.  We wouldn't expect our child to be able to rob a bank and walk away from court without having a consequence of some sort.  We wouldn't expect a grown man to rape and then brutally murder a young girl without paying for the wrong he has done.  And we wouldn't expect our child to lie without having to deal with the repercussions that come with lying.  

So when we think about all of these things, why do we then think it is unfair of God, the creator of the Universe and all that is in it, including mankind, to let us run about disobeying Him, doing whatever we want, without giving us a consequence?

We can call God unfair.  We can claim that God is evil.  We can call Him whatever we want, but that is not going to change the way things work.

How did we come up with the idea that people should be punished for things that people do wrong?  How did we decided that people have to suffer a consequence of their actions?  That is the way the world works, because that is how it has been from the beginning of time.  There is a need and desire for justice.

So when we see the need for justice on the small scale of life, why do when think there should not be justice for the bigger picture?

Think about it.

God is the judge.  You want to be innocent in His eyes when you stand before Him.  And the way to do that is to believe in Him.  Believe He sent His Son to take your consequences for you so that you don't have to by dying on the cross for you.  Jesus sacrificed His life so that you wouldn't have to suffer your consequence.    You have to believe that.  You have to understand that you deserve your consequence because you have disobeyed God.  But that He loves you more than you can fathom, and that's why His Son paid your way.  And because we believe in Him, and because we understand our sin and that we need Jesus to pay for it, we serve God for the rest of our lives.  He becomes the Lord of our life.  We obey Him because we understand His love for us, and we love Him in return.

If you want to look at some things for yourself, find a Bible and look up these verses:

John 3:16
"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."

Romans 5:8
"But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners."

Romans 3:23
"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard."

Romans 6:23
"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 10:9-10
"If you confess with your mouth tat Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved."

Romans 10:13
"For 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved'."

Game Over

I used to write poems all the time, but I haven't in awhile. So here is one to add to my collection. Enjoy.

I am here to proclaim,
I want no part in this theatrical game.
Putting a smile on someone's face
Just to wipe it away and leave them in pain.
You wear a mask everyday
To cover up the way you play.
You think you're lucky as a four-leaf clover,
But I'm here to proclaim: "Game Over".

I'm Going To Boycott Boycotting

I was just stricken with a thought.  After reading a link on facebook about boycotting Pepsi because of their patriotic soda can that leaves out the words "Under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance, I realized how incredibly HATEFUL it appeared.

I understand standing up for your beliefs, but I was appalled at how awful I would have sounded had I re-posted that lash out against Pepsi. Don't get me wrong, if you feel the need to not support a company because of things they stand for, then don't! However, I believe Christians in America have lost touch of what it means to show grace and love towards others in the way Christ commands us to. For me, as a Christian, to have felt the unloving approach in that post, I can't imagine what it feels like for the opposing side to read it. It's no wonder why they call us hateful bigots! Our approach most of the time is just that!

For me, personally, I am not a fan of boycotting to begin with. I think it can come across wrong to others. Whether it's right or wrong, I really do not know. I try not to worry about it all that much. Instead, I try to focus on loving God and loving others.

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV)

 I believe that if we make these two things our focus, most likely we will change our approach to a lot of things and we will naturally become more loving towards others because of our love for God. When He is evident in our lives, that is what makes people take a second glance. Not our ability to speak hatefully about what we believe they are doing wrong. 

On a side note, I'm not sure there is much "Under God" going on in our country anyways, so I'm not sure it would really matter if the words were there or not. But I do believe we would be much more effective in this country if we worried about living out the life God calls us to and reaching souls rather than worrying about what our Pledge of Allegiance says. The work we do for the kingdom I believe is going to be more important that having God's name in the Pledge of Allegiance. I do understand the unfairness of it all, but I don't understand why there is need to fight the way we are fighting. Besides, there is really not much we can do on the side of justice. But we can rest assured that God is going to handle that. And justice will be made. 

Sometimes It's For No Reason At All

Do you ever have those days when you feel like you've lost your best friend, or like you've lost your puppy? Yep, I have those days too. This week, those days have been showing no mercy. 

This week I have been a bundle of "girly emotions". I have cried a lot. Sometimes for a good reason. Sometimes for a bad reason. Sometimes for no reason at all.

On a happier note, this week I discovered Golden Oreos Cookies and Cream ice cream! Ice cream always helps a person feel better when they are down in the dumps. :)

This song is of great help to me when I'm feeling this way. So I shall listen to it as often as it takes!

http://youtu.be/KmaBhMOXXHg

Sometimes You Just Have A Good Hair-day

This afternoon I began getting ready for my husbands return home. I have to say, it was the first time I have felt good about myself all week. I'm not entirely sure why, but it has just been a tough week for me emotional in every aspect. So to be able to actually look in the mirror and like what I see was a great relief and brought a tiny bit of sunshine with it. Maybe it was a simple as my hair actually cooperating for once. :)

A Simple Act Of Kindness Goes A Long Way

Today has been "one of those days."  Call it hormones, call it whatever, but I simply just felt incredibly overwhelmed with every little detail of the day; all the way down to changing a diaper.  In fact, it was a dirty diaper that just about unraveled the ball of yarn that is my mind and emotions.

*For the squeamish, please skip the next 3 paragraphs*

One poopie diaper.  That one poopie diaper was just about the icing on the cake, after a day of feeling completely overwhelmed with everything and every little task.  When I thought I was finished changing this diaper, I realized that somehow (even though I do no recall sticking my finger in the poop) that there was poop on my finger.......... So I grabbed a wipe to clean it off.  Viola.  Then noticed there was still poop on my finger. So I cleaned that off, only to realize that some had flung itself onto the floor in an attempt to escape the trash can.  And yes, the poop voluntarily flung itself on the floor.  It dove.  It was in a skydiving adventure (At this point, I can feel the tears beginning to well up).

So everything is now clean.  Think again!  I see there is poop on the changing table.  Okay, we can do this.  No big deal.  Once again, the baby wipes come to the rescue. All is well.  Good.  Now to go do what I came for in the first place.

I get to where I am headed, with Liam in tow.  He is minding his own business, entertaining himself by beating on the counter.  When, wait... what is that?  I see on Liam's hand,  there is a mysterious spot of something.  I look closer.  I sniff it.  YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?!  Yep, you guessed it, POOP on his little hand.

After leaving Liam with the kind nursery workers, I go about my business, even though I feel like I am on the brink of having a meltdown of a breakdown right there in the middle of everyone.
And try to hold myself together for the rest of the evening.

When it was time to leave, I went to pick up Liam from the nursery, and standing there waiting is a dear, sweet friend.  She wanted to help me get Liam loaded up into the car in the nasty weather.  So very kind of her, when she could have already been in her car and halfway home to her own family.

It was this tiny little gesture of kindness and friendship that kept me from going over the edge.  In the midst of a day where I felt like the glue holding me together had just about vanished, I had a wonderful friend show me their love by helping me out.  With something as simple as holding my child while I pull the car under the overhang.  So simple, yet it affected me in such a HUGE way.

I thank the Lord in heaven for such a blessing to my day in this friend.  Without her act of love, I might very well have cried my way home.  Well, I did cry my way home, but it was out of gratefulness.  My heart was overflowing with love from a great friend.  Sometimes a person may not know just how of an impact they can have on another person's day.

So, to my friend, THANK YOU! You know who you are. :)

Chasing Elephants While Refraining From Social Networking

Wow. I am amazed at myself with how truly addicted to Facebook I have become. I sat down at my computer to look up a few things on the internet, and before I even realized what I was doing, I had already taken my computer to Facebook.com, instinctively typed in my login without thought, and was about to start typing in my password before I even realized what I was doing. That is pretty bad. My mind didn't even have to tell me to go sign into Facebook, my body just did it. 

I am glad that I have been talked into giving up the social networking realm for one day a week. Hopefully after getting used to being away from it for a whole day, I can add another day of freedom to that, and so on and so forth. 

 As for today... In place of living out my socialization through artificial means, I have instead watched a few episodes of television on Netflix. I'm not sure trading one evil for another was exactly my plan, but so far today, that is what happened. I am planning on spending some time reading, which I love to do but can never seem to find a lot of time to do it. The book I am currently reading is "Chasing Elephants: Wrestling with the gray areas of life" by Brent Crowe. I happened to open the book while just flipping through it, to a section about none other than, wait for it............ SOCIAL NETWORKING. I must say, I have been run over by the "How more obvious can I make this for you?" truck, driven by none other that the Great I AM himself. 

So this afternoon, I will be reading about social networking, while NOT social networking. :)

A Blog. Use As Intended.

Since I am learning that Facebook is not the place to let your thoughts run wild, even though it appears as though that is what it's for, I am going to let my thoughts run wild here. This is what my blog is for, to release my thoughts and let my mind empty itself.

Speaking of Facebook, that is precisely what this blog is about. I have gotten myself into more trouble from Facebook than I have from all the times in my entire life put together. Facebook started (if my mind serves me correctly) as a place to stay connected between college students. Since then, Facebook has morphed into a creature all it's own.

Facebook is still used to keep friends connected; but things that have changed are things like, those we call "friends" may  not even be people we see in person -- except that one time we met them... four years ago. Then there are those Facebook users who simply stay connected by stalking everyone they are friends with, but never interact. Then still, there are those who use Facebook as a diary, a political campaign, etc.

For myself, I tend to use Facebook as a journal. I wouldn't call it my diary, as I do not typically post about secrets for all to see.


(I usually associate diaries with secret things to write down and keep safe with lock and key; whereas, a journal is just a place to write out your thoughts, or things about your day.)


Even though my intentions may be simply to express my thoughts without intent to say things indirectly to others, I am finding that (presumably BECAUSE it is Facebook) people seem to take everything you say and dissect it, read way too far into it, and assume that every thing is referring to them. 


Because of this, I am finding I have to pause and think before hitting the "post" button. Something I am struggling with is, if it is something that is important to me, then I should be able to post it without others (who are my friends and know who I am as a person) getting offended. The truth is, it apparently doesn't work that way. Recently, I have found myself in a very worshipful mood, which has been so wonderful, and a joy in my life. So, naturally, I suppose my posts have reflected this. Unfortunately, without others knowing my thoughts, and what is going on in my life every second of every day, these things that mean something to me and are important to me, have become somewhat of an issue with others. These things that I say because of things I am learning, or things that mean something to me at that particular moment in time are being taken as me saying them to make a point to others. 


I am here to say, that is not the case! So breathe a sigh of relief. I am in no way saying things in order to make someone feel guilty or feel the need to think the way I do. Granted, in the past, I may have fallen guilty of doing this, but as of late, this is not the case. 


That all being said:


Let this be my disclaimer. I will speak what is on my mind (without intent to offend others, of course). I will post things that mean something to me, and that are important to me. Please do not read too far into things I say and assume I am trying to make a jab at anyone. Please do not assume I am trying to indirectly attack anyone, or correct anyone. If you do not like what I have to say, feel free to tell me. However, please keep it kind. Thank you. :)

Reoccurring Thought

I have been bombarded with a single thought lately that continues to pop up when least expected. 

That thought is that,
               we are all in different places in our walk                      
     with Christ. 


For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to hold other Christians to what the Bible says. I have always wanted to show them when they are doing something that is wrong according to scripture. The truth is, I am just as terrible a sinner as any person, and have no right to be pointing fingers. 


I do know, however, that the Word instructs us to encourage our brothers and sisters in their walk with Christ so that they may grow. 


"As iron sharpens iron,
    so a friend sharpens a friend." -Proverbs 27:17

 “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector." -Matthew 18:15-17


"My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins." -James 5:19-20


These verses have in common that we are to be holding each other accountable to our lives as Christians. Some may take it as Christians being judgmental toward one another, but if done in the correct way, it should not come across that way. And there are some who need to understand that not all instruction and encouragement is meant to be judgmental. Having someone to help us see the things we can't always see that we are doing, is beneficial to helping us grow as Christians and strengthen our relationship with Christ. 


Now, is where is gets slightly muddled. While yes, we are to hold each other accountable, we also have to understand that people will not always be in the same place in their walk with Christ as we are. Some may be ahead of you, and some may be behind you, and others will be right where you are. 


"In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whichever day you choose is acceptable." -Romans 14:5


I think the way to solve what may appears to be mixed signals would be, to go to that fellow Christ follower in private. (There is no need to embarrass them, or yourself. And there is no reason to air their dirty laundry.) And share your heart with them. Share with them openly and honestly, humbly and in gentleness. (And it might be good if you have that sort of authority in that person's life. If you don't, you will most likely be perceived as being judgmental.) 


Secondly, leave it at that. Don't hound the person. They may not yet have the same convictions you do, simply because they may not be in the same place in their walk with God. That does NOT mean they are not as good of a Christian. God's Word tells us we are ALL sinners. We are ALL unworthy of God. But Christ came to save us ALL. We are all equally filthy, but we are all equally blessed with the gift of God's grace. So we should be very careful to not think that we have it all figured out, and that other Christians need to step up their game. Because the truth is, we are all sinful in God's eyes. Sin = death. So we should all take heed of the example that Jesus Christ gave us with his life, and always be forgiving, always be loving. 

By no means am I claiming that this is THE way to approach this sort of thing. In fact, I am here to say, this may be a completely WRONG way to handle this. This is just what I feel God has laid on my heart at the moment, and maybe later on, my "advice" (although I would hardly call it that) will change. By then, I may see what I cannot see now. And I know that I fail OFTEN. But I do know that we seem to have a problem not wanting to step on other's toes, even though we are given instruction to "bring their feet to the fire" so-to-speak. And we also have the problem of thinking everyone needs to be doing things the way a specific person sees fit. 


I think if we simply read the Word of God. Make a daily decision to love God and love others, then the rest will fall into place. 

Socked Feet and Warm-Fuzzies

After reading this, most of you will name me certifiably crazy, but that is okay. I have no shame in what I am about to tell you.

Here goes... 

I have a thing for socked feet! Feet with socks on them give me the "warm-fuzzies." I don't think I have ever told anyone this before, so many may find it strange.

When I see people's feet with socks on them, I get hit with a wave of nostalgia. The socks, however, have to be new looking and clean. Dirty or old socks do not have the same effect on me. Socks that have the most effect are clean, new looking socks - you know the kind. 

I am unclear as to why this happens, but I can't say that I hate it.

So if you find me staring at your socked feet, don't let it creep you out - just know that it has the same effect as smelling apple pie. It reminds me of "home."

Same blog. New location.

Let me start out by first apologizing to all for any confusion this may cause, but I have relocated my blog so-to-speak.  It will be the same blog, with the same name (unless I decide to change it later), but at a different web address.

The reason for this is so that everything I use that involves Google will be in one centralized location. (Basically I am only trying to make my life less complicated.)  I am the type of person who despises having multiple e-mail accounts.  I prefer everything to be in one place.  This is an attempt to do that!  And it is the only way I know how to make this possible.

I hope to continue to provide you with at least a small amount of entertainment, whether it be simply thought provoking, funny, or even a little sad.  Until then, if you are at all interested at reading any of my previous blog posts from the old blog site, here is a link that will take you there!

http://twonicholsworth.blogspot.com/