As you all know, I was able to hold Serenity a few nights ago. Which was so amazing and exciting! However, she was not doing as well with being touched and handled after that. And her blood pressure was high. We are not sure yet if this is from one of her medicines, extra fluids on her, or her kidneys. Just as I have said and been told, things change from day to day.
I was not able to get to the hospital at all yesterday. I had planned on going after putting Liam to bed, and stopping by the store. But after going to the store, it was late and I was very tired, so I called to make sure she was doing okay and opted to head back to the house. Thankfully, I was able to make a trip to visit her this morning. The nurse said Serenity had an episode around 2:30am or so where her blood saturation and heart rate dropped really low, and they ended up having to use the bag to help her breathe.
That was not super great news to start off with.
The nurse asked me what my schedule looked like, and asked if I had enough time this morning to give Serenity her bath (WOO-HOO!) and then to do kangaroo care while she switched the incubators out. (double WOO-HOO!).
This was only the second time I had given Serenity a bath, and both times, she really liked it and her blood saturation kept going high so that they had to keep turning down the amount of oxygen they were giving her. The doctor came through while I was doing it and commented on how well she was doing. I did ask while I was bathing her, about her tummy. On her side, it looked like her intestines where sort of pushing out... which they have a name for that I cannot remember. But the doctor said it could possibly be air, but that they will be checking it out. This will delay her feedings a little longer, unfortunately.
Then we got set up to do kangaroo care. Her blood saturation did drop while we were moving her around and getting her situated (which the nurse said would most likely happen), but it quickly went back up to normal, and then began going up to 98%-100% which, again, meant that the nurse had to keep lowering the amount of oxygen she was getting. It's truly amazing how well babies do when they are receiving their mommy or daddy's touch.
Overall, we were able to do an hour of kangaroo care! And the nurse said they want to start trying to do kangaroo care for an hour a day (as long as she is not having a bad day). And Ryan is able to participate in kangaroo care when he is here! So that was really great news!
Also, it is possible they will be taking out the ventilator (tube going down her throat and straight into her lungs) today and replacing it with another Ram Cannula (prongs that fit in her nostrils that deliver oxygen). This would be a great step forward!
On a side note, the doctor showed me Serenity's brain scans, and it looks like the first scan was most likely a high grade 1, and the second scan is a grade 2. They will be measuring he head daily to keep an eye on things, and be doing another scan at some point. But there is really not much they do at this point except wait and see.
So we continue the "NICU Tango"--a few steps forward, a few steps back, and so on.
Thank you all for continuing to be concerned for our little girl. We appreciate all of your love and support.
Specific Prayer Requests:
*Completely healed lungs
*Healed intestines, so feedings can resume very soon
*Normal blood pressure
*No kidney issues
*Healed brain bleed
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
Serenity: 3 weeks 3 days (Gestation age: 27 weeks 5 days)
One thing I am learning, is exactly what every nurse and doctor has told us since the beginning, "take things day by day" (and sometimes moment by moment). In my last update, Serenity was having a rough day. Yesterday, I wasn't able to make it to the hospital during the daytime, so I called to check on her and the day nurse said she had been having a really good day.
Ryan's sister, Kelli, and I were able to make a trip to the hospital in the evening. We got there and began our "3 minute scrub" (that feels more like a 13 minute scrub). While we were scrubbing, Serenity's night nurse (one of the several that are absolutely amazing--and actually takes care of her like a mother would) greeted me by asking if I'd like to get Serenity out and hold her.
WHAT?!
Yes, that's right. The nurse just asked me if I wanted to get my sweet, tiny, little angel out of the incubator that has kept her alive, but held her captive for the past 3 weeks and 2 days, and actually hold her in my arms.
OF COURSE I WANT TO HOLD HER!!!
I just about could not contain my excitement! It was so strange to see the lid come off of the incubator, and see my little girl exposed to the outside air. She is still on the vent to help her breathe when she needs it, but her body was able to be in the room temperature air (wrapped in a little blanket, of course).
The nurse warned me that when they lift her out, her stats may freak out for a little bit, just because that sometimes happens. But that once I'm holding her, she should start to calm down. But that if she doesn't, we would have to put her back.
The nurses placed her carefully in my arms. The arms that I was too afraid to move--even a centimeter. And guess what? Her numbers didn't budge. She stayed in the good range for quite some time. After a while, her blood saturation did start dropping a little bit, off and on--which the nurse said was because she was getting very relaxed and sleeping deeply. Apparently our little one likes to, what they call, "ride the vent" when she is sleeping. Meaning, she lets the vent do all of the work. But it did make me happy that she felt comfortable enough in my arms to relax that much, and sleep that deeply. :)
This wonderful moment of bliss lasted FORTY-FIVE minutes! That's amazing! As tiny and young as she is, she did amazingly well! That's my girl. ;) And thanks to Kelli, Ryan was able to see some of this on FaceTime, even though he was several states away.
In other news, the nurses continue to see small "smears" of stool in her diaper--which is a really great sign that the hole in her intestine is healed! She should be able to start trying milk again very, very soon!
Guys, I cannot express enough how amazing our God is!! I just asked everyone to please continue to remember that Serenity still needs diligent prayer, and viola! She had an awesome day! It doesn't mean she won't have a bad day (or days). And it doesn't mean that we won't bring her home with us. But it means that God heard your prayers and it was in His Will to answer them for one day. So thank you. :)
Ryan's sister, Kelli, and I were able to make a trip to the hospital in the evening. We got there and began our "3 minute scrub" (that feels more like a 13 minute scrub). While we were scrubbing, Serenity's night nurse (one of the several that are absolutely amazing--and actually takes care of her like a mother would) greeted me by asking if I'd like to get Serenity out and hold her.
WHAT?!
Yes, that's right. The nurse just asked me if I wanted to get my sweet, tiny, little angel out of the incubator that has kept her alive, but held her captive for the past 3 weeks and 2 days, and actually hold her in my arms.
OF COURSE I WANT TO HOLD HER!!!
I just about could not contain my excitement! It was so strange to see the lid come off of the incubator, and see my little girl exposed to the outside air. She is still on the vent to help her breathe when she needs it, but her body was able to be in the room temperature air (wrapped in a little blanket, of course).
The nurse warned me that when they lift her out, her stats may freak out for a little bit, just because that sometimes happens. But that once I'm holding her, she should start to calm down. But that if she doesn't, we would have to put her back.
The nurses placed her carefully in my arms. The arms that I was too afraid to move--even a centimeter. And guess what? Her numbers didn't budge. She stayed in the good range for quite some time. After a while, her blood saturation did start dropping a little bit, off and on--which the nurse said was because she was getting very relaxed and sleeping deeply. Apparently our little one likes to, what they call, "ride the vent" when she is sleeping. Meaning, she lets the vent do all of the work. But it did make me happy that she felt comfortable enough in my arms to relax that much, and sleep that deeply. :)
This wonderful moment of bliss lasted FORTY-FIVE minutes! That's amazing! As tiny and young as she is, she did amazingly well! That's my girl. ;) And thanks to Kelli, Ryan was able to see some of this on FaceTime, even though he was several states away.
In other news, the nurses continue to see small "smears" of stool in her diaper--which is a really great sign that the hole in her intestine is healed! She should be able to start trying milk again very, very soon!
Guys, I cannot express enough how amazing our God is!! I just asked everyone to please continue to remember that Serenity still needs diligent prayer, and viola! She had an awesome day! It doesn't mean she won't have a bad day (or days). And it doesn't mean that we won't bring her home with us. But it means that God heard your prayers and it was in His Will to answer them for one day. So thank you. :)
Strength and Peace
Something has been on my mind and heart quite a bit lately, and that is some of the things people keep saying to Ryan and me. None of those things are meant to be negative of course. I just hear them and start thinking past what the person meant.
One of the things we have been hearing is how people cannot fathom how we are handling all of this so well. Or, they cannot understand how we are able to function with life outside of the NICU. Because they would not be handling it as well.
While those are NOT meant to be negative comments in the least, it has made us think. It has made us wonder if people think we are not sad enough or concerned enough, etc. But the truth is, maybe we AREN'T "sad enough" or "concerned enough" by the world's standards. But we have felt an amazing peace throughout this whole thing. A peace that the world cannot give us. A peace that ONLY comes from our Heavenly Father. In that peace, we find the freedom to feel happy. The freedom to laugh. The freedom to not sit and worry. And the freedom for life to go on.
We both understand that our life does not stop just because we have a child in the NICU. Although, our time is spent a little differently sometimes, we still have things we need (and want) to do outside of the NICU.
Some may consider this to be uncaring about our little girl. But please don't misunderstand. We care about Serenity SO, SO much! We love our little girl more than words can say. But we have prayed (and others have prayed) that God would give us strength and peace in this situation. And He has. So now, instead of wondering if we should be more sad, or more concerned, or more depressed, we can be amazed with our Lord that has answered prayers once again, and marvel in the fact that we CAN relax and know that He has everything under control.
Some of you may wonder, "but what if she doesn't make it?" Well, she may not. But we don't sit and worry about that, because we know that if that is the case, that was best for her. It may seem harsh for a loving God to "take away" our child. But to us, it's not harsh at all. It would hurt our hearts in the moment to know that she wouldn't be with us, and we would definitely be very, very sad, but we would also be so thrilled for her that she gets to spend eternity never in pain, never hurting, and being in the presence of a magnificent God!
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7
One of the things we have been hearing is how people cannot fathom how we are handling all of this so well. Or, they cannot understand how we are able to function with life outside of the NICU. Because they would not be handling it as well.
While those are NOT meant to be negative comments in the least, it has made us think. It has made us wonder if people think we are not sad enough or concerned enough, etc. But the truth is, maybe we AREN'T "sad enough" or "concerned enough" by the world's standards. But we have felt an amazing peace throughout this whole thing. A peace that the world cannot give us. A peace that ONLY comes from our Heavenly Father. In that peace, we find the freedom to feel happy. The freedom to laugh. The freedom to not sit and worry. And the freedom for life to go on.
We both understand that our life does not stop just because we have a child in the NICU. Although, our time is spent a little differently sometimes, we still have things we need (and want) to do outside of the NICU.
Some may consider this to be uncaring about our little girl. But please don't misunderstand. We care about Serenity SO, SO much! We love our little girl more than words can say. But we have prayed (and others have prayed) that God would give us strength and peace in this situation. And He has. So now, instead of wondering if we should be more sad, or more concerned, or more depressed, we can be amazed with our Lord that has answered prayers once again, and marvel in the fact that we CAN relax and know that He has everything under control.
Some of you may wonder, "but what if she doesn't make it?" Well, she may not. But we don't sit and worry about that, because we know that if that is the case, that was best for her. It may seem harsh for a loving God to "take away" our child. But to us, it's not harsh at all. It would hurt our hearts in the moment to know that she wouldn't be with us, and we would definitely be very, very sad, but we would also be so thrilled for her that she gets to spend eternity never in pain, never hurting, and being in the presence of a magnificent God!
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Serenity: 3 weeks 1 day (Gestation age: 27 weeks 3 days)
Hello again to all! It has been a few days since I have been able to sit down and write an update on our little angel, Serenity. This week has been a crazy, busy one. My parents came up to visit, and help with Liam (and see Serenity, of course!). And I divided my time between visiting with them, going to the hospital, and helping out with the First Baptist Church of Festus-Crystal City youth mission trip. I mostly just took pictures, but was able to help out at the Lansing Rescue Mission for a little bit (which I really enjoyed). Overall it was a busy week, but a great week!
Serenity has been holding steady in a state of critical. I'm not sure I even understand what that means anymore. She looks fine on the outside, but I don't there are things going on on the inside. And I know that things could go South at ANY moment.
The good news is the drain in her abdomen is completely out now. And the site seems to be healing up quite well! They don't put stitches or tape or anything on it, they just let the hole from the incision shrink back together.
Yesterday they began giving her steroids for her lungs. When they checked her blood gases this morning they were doing really, really well! Which is awesome news! This afternoon her blood gases weren't doing quite as well, but they are still better than they were. The fluid on her lungs still looks about the same though.
Since yesterday Serenity has really been having a tough time keeping her blood saturation level where it needs to be (between mid 80's and mid 90's). She may have been having a hard time with it for longer, who knows, but it has never been this bad while we have been there. Her saturation keeps dipping down into the 50's and even into the 30's.... Today, while I was visiting her, her level dipped into the 30's and the nurse was having a difficult time getting her back to where she needed to be. And then her heart rate got into the 60's. Which for someone like her is waaaaay too low. Her heart rate should be staying between 120 and about 200. So that was not fun to watch. Especially since she started taking on a gray color when this was all happening. :/
Another bit of disappointing news is that she had another brain scan today. The doctor said it was definitely a grade 2 brain bleed on both sides of the brain. He also looked over her previous scans and said that it appears to actually have been a grade 2 all along, rather than a grade 1. This isn't the greatest news, but we are trying to stay positive about as much as we can.
So, in a nutshell, she is doing better than she could be doing, but she is not doing super great. We can only pray and hope for the best, but still keep in mind what could happen. Regardless, we love this little girl more than words can express. And we thank you for all for your support and encouragement.
Please continue to keep her in your prayers. I know it may seem less urgent than before because she seems to be sort of hanging out in the same spot as far as stability goes, but she truly does still need those prayers just as much as she did before. The longer she has to stay on the vent, the longer she has to receive liquid nutrition (electrolytes, protein, etc.), the longer she has to have anything poses risks to her immediate and future health--both mild and major risks. So please continue to pray for her, is all I ask. Thank you.
Serenity has been holding steady in a state of critical. I'm not sure I even understand what that means anymore. She looks fine on the outside, but I don't there are things going on on the inside. And I know that things could go South at ANY moment.
The good news is the drain in her abdomen is completely out now. And the site seems to be healing up quite well! They don't put stitches or tape or anything on it, they just let the hole from the incision shrink back together.
Yesterday they began giving her steroids for her lungs. When they checked her blood gases this morning they were doing really, really well! Which is awesome news! This afternoon her blood gases weren't doing quite as well, but they are still better than they were. The fluid on her lungs still looks about the same though.
Since yesterday Serenity has really been having a tough time keeping her blood saturation level where it needs to be (between mid 80's and mid 90's). She may have been having a hard time with it for longer, who knows, but it has never been this bad while we have been there. Her saturation keeps dipping down into the 50's and even into the 30's.... Today, while I was visiting her, her level dipped into the 30's and the nurse was having a difficult time getting her back to where she needed to be. And then her heart rate got into the 60's. Which for someone like her is waaaaay too low. Her heart rate should be staying between 120 and about 200. So that was not fun to watch. Especially since she started taking on a gray color when this was all happening. :/
Another bit of disappointing news is that she had another brain scan today. The doctor said it was definitely a grade 2 brain bleed on both sides of the brain. He also looked over her previous scans and said that it appears to actually have been a grade 2 all along, rather than a grade 1. This isn't the greatest news, but we are trying to stay positive about as much as we can.
So, in a nutshell, she is doing better than she could be doing, but she is not doing super great. We can only pray and hope for the best, but still keep in mind what could happen. Regardless, we love this little girl more than words can express. And we thank you for all for your support and encouragement.
Please continue to keep her in your prayers. I know it may seem less urgent than before because she seems to be sort of hanging out in the same spot as far as stability goes, but she truly does still need those prayers just as much as she did before. The longer she has to stay on the vent, the longer she has to receive liquid nutrition (electrolytes, protein, etc.), the longer she has to have anything poses risks to her immediate and future health--both mild and major risks. So please continue to pray for her, is all I ask. Thank you.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Serenity: 2 weeks 4 days old (Gestation age: 26 weeks 6 days)
Well, as you can tell, there was no blog update for Serenity yesterday. Things have gotten a little busy now that the students have gotten here from our church for the mission trip. There is a lot going on, and a lot getting done! In a good way!
As for baby Serenity, she is still technically "stable yet critical". They are still slowly taking the drain out, and it still looks good, however she hasn't been having much stool in her diapers, so the nurses are hoping that the hole in her intestines is healed and that the lack of stool is due to her stomach not fully being mature. However, it would be good for her stomach and intestines to be fully functioning properly so that she will be able to start eating.
They were supposed to start her on a steroid for her lungs yesterday, however, they were unable to start that because one of the antibiotics they had her on was not making it's way out of her body like it should be. So they're not sure if her kidneys just aren't doing their job, or if they had her on too high of a dose, but they don't really want to start the steroid until they figure out what is going on there.
On a slightly better note, they have her oxygen turned down to around 25% (as of last night), so that is an improvement. But she is still getting most all of her breaths from the vent. Well, and there was a scary moment last night while myself and my parents where visiting her--she had an episode of paused breathing. I did not like the sound of that alarm, and I did not like seeing the nurses rush over to her. Thankfully, they suctioned out a bit of mucus that was blocking her airways and she was fine after that. But it still wasn't fun to be there when it happened.
And lastly, the best part of last night's visit, the nurse had be give Serenity a sponge bath! It wasn't her first bath, but it was the first time I did it. It was a little scary at first because she has so many wires and different things I had to be careful of. But it was nice to be able to do more with her than hold her hand or touch her toes. :)
I can't wait until we have our little girl home with us and we can give her a real bath. No wires. No vents. No tubes. And no hospital or nurses. One day. :)
As for baby Serenity, she is still technically "stable yet critical". They are still slowly taking the drain out, and it still looks good, however she hasn't been having much stool in her diapers, so the nurses are hoping that the hole in her intestines is healed and that the lack of stool is due to her stomach not fully being mature. However, it would be good for her stomach and intestines to be fully functioning properly so that she will be able to start eating.
They were supposed to start her on a steroid for her lungs yesterday, however, they were unable to start that because one of the antibiotics they had her on was not making it's way out of her body like it should be. So they're not sure if her kidneys just aren't doing their job, or if they had her on too high of a dose, but they don't really want to start the steroid until they figure out what is going on there.
On a slightly better note, they have her oxygen turned down to around 25% (as of last night), so that is an improvement. But she is still getting most all of her breaths from the vent. Well, and there was a scary moment last night while myself and my parents where visiting her--she had an episode of paused breathing. I did not like the sound of that alarm, and I did not like seeing the nurses rush over to her. Thankfully, they suctioned out a bit of mucus that was blocking her airways and she was fine after that. But it still wasn't fun to be there when it happened.
And lastly, the best part of last night's visit, the nurse had be give Serenity a sponge bath! It wasn't her first bath, but it was the first time I did it. It was a little scary at first because she has so many wires and different things I had to be careful of. But it was nice to be able to do more with her than hold her hand or touch her toes. :)
I can't wait until we have our little girl home with us and we can give her a real bath. No wires. No vents. No tubes. And no hospital or nurses. One day. :)
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Serenity: 2 weeks 2 days old (Gestation age: 26 weeks 4 days)
Ryan and I went up to the hospital this evening to see our little angel. She looked so cute all cuddled up in a pile of rolled up blankets, loose blankets, and little soft bean bag type things. All of these items keep her warm, cozy, and in a small space, to help simulate the womb a little better. She seemed quite peaceful and happy this way, with less room for her arms and legs to roam.
She had her chest x-ray done today, and her lungs still look yucky, so they will be starting her on a steroid tomorrow. They have been getting quite a bit of yucky stuff out every time they suction her lungs, though, so that is kind of good. But she still needs a little extra help.
On a happy note, she partially opened her right eye for the nurse sometime between yesterday evening and this evening. It won't be long now before she has both eyes open! She won't really be able to see us, but that's okay. :)
Thank you for continued love, support, encouragement, and prayers. We love and appreciate you all!
She had her chest x-ray done today, and her lungs still look yucky, so they will be starting her on a steroid tomorrow. They have been getting quite a bit of yucky stuff out every time they suction her lungs, though, so that is kind of good. But she still needs a little extra help.
On a happy note, she partially opened her right eye for the nurse sometime between yesterday evening and this evening. It won't be long now before she has both eyes open! She won't really be able to see us, but that's okay. :)
Thank you for continued love, support, encouragement, and prayers. We love and appreciate you all!
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Serenity: 2 weeks 1 day old (Gestation age: 26 weeks 3 days)
Hello again (I feel like a broken record these days).
I'm getting around to writing our update a little bit earlier today. I figure some of you may be happy about that. However, please bear with me as I struggle to find the motivation to write--I am keeping everyone updated as we know things, so don't fear that you are missing out on information.
First on the list today is a massive praise--the hole in Serenity's heart is gone!!! This is a huge answer to prayer! And it was actually slightly funny to me when the doctor said he was actually surprised that the first medicine he decided to use had worked. He didn't seem to expect it to. ***Just a little side note--the medicine they tried first was Ibuprofen. Crazy, huh?)*** In my head I was telling him that it worked because hundreds upon hundreds of people were pleading with God for it to work! I wasn't brave enough to say it out loud though. ;)
While that is tremendously happy news, we still are having to watch her lungs. There is still fluid on them, and possibly inflammation. The doctor also said she is relying on the vent more than they would like to see at this point. So because of both of those things, they are trying her on Lasix for the next few days to see if that will help. On Monday, they will check her lungs again to see if there is any change. If there is no change the doctor is wanting to start her on a steroid that she will be on for 10 to 14 days.
Other than that, everything else looks about the same. She is still pretty feisty, which makes me happy. Although, she isn't handled being touched super well, but that will come in time I hope. :)
Thank you, as always, for your love, support, encouragement, and prayers!!
I'm getting around to writing our update a little bit earlier today. I figure some of you may be happy about that. However, please bear with me as I struggle to find the motivation to write--I am keeping everyone updated as we know things, so don't fear that you are missing out on information.
First on the list today is a massive praise--the hole in Serenity's heart is gone!!! This is a huge answer to prayer! And it was actually slightly funny to me when the doctor said he was actually surprised that the first medicine he decided to use had worked. He didn't seem to expect it to. ***Just a little side note--the medicine they tried first was Ibuprofen. Crazy, huh?)*** In my head I was telling him that it worked because hundreds upon hundreds of people were pleading with God for it to work! I wasn't brave enough to say it out loud though. ;)
While that is tremendously happy news, we still are having to watch her lungs. There is still fluid on them, and possibly inflammation. The doctor also said she is relying on the vent more than they would like to see at this point. So because of both of those things, they are trying her on Lasix for the next few days to see if that will help. On Monday, they will check her lungs again to see if there is any change. If there is no change the doctor is wanting to start her on a steroid that she will be on for 10 to 14 days.
Other than that, everything else looks about the same. She is still pretty feisty, which makes me happy. Although, she isn't handled being touched super well, but that will come in time I hope. :)
Thank you, as always, for your love, support, encouragement, and prayers!!
Friday, July 19, 2013
Serenity: Two Weeks Old (Gestation age: 26 weeks 2 days)
Our sweet Serenity Hope is two weeks old today!! We are so thankful that we have had the privilege and blessing of having our little girl with us for this long. She has stolen our hearts and filled us with joy.
There is not much going on for today's update. But, that is not necessarily bad. She is still doing about the same, and is stable in the midst of a critical situation.
We have not gotten any results from the heart echo yet, but we hope they will have those results for us tomorrow. The doctor did begin the removal of the drain today, and this doctor is the one who takes about four days in the removal. So the drain was barely moved, but it's a start!
The nurse said her blood gases weren't super today, so she ended up changing her vent tube, as sometimes that can cause problems. After changing the tube, the blood gases looked a little better--still not super, but better.
Other than that, nothing much has changed, or is going on. But we will take that! No change is better than bad change!
Thank you all, as always, for your continued love, support, encouragement, and prayers! We love you all and appreciate you all.
There is not much going on for today's update. But, that is not necessarily bad. She is still doing about the same, and is stable in the midst of a critical situation.
We have not gotten any results from the heart echo yet, but we hope they will have those results for us tomorrow. The doctor did begin the removal of the drain today, and this doctor is the one who takes about four days in the removal. So the drain was barely moved, but it's a start!
The nurse said her blood gases weren't super today, so she ended up changing her vent tube, as sometimes that can cause problems. After changing the tube, the blood gases looked a little better--still not super, but better.
Other than that, nothing much has changed, or is going on. But we will take that! No change is better than bad change!
Thank you all, as always, for your continued love, support, encouragement, and prayers! We love you all and appreciate you all.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Serenity: 13 days old (Gestation age: 26 weeks 1 day)
I have to apologize to everyone. I was not feeling up to writing a blog update today. Not because there is bad news or anything--I'm just simply feeling a little less motivated. However, I know that so many people would like to know how Serenity is doing, so I'm sucking it up and writing anyways. :)
We weren't able to go to the hospital until this evening today. But that is better than not at all! Our sweet girl is looking SO. MUCH. BETTER. Her skin is looking pink, and a little less see-through. And Ryan and I both commented on how big her head looked. She has definitely been doing some growing. I'm excited to see how much she has grown when they measure and weigh her on Monday!
As for all the medical stuff... The plan is to start taking out the drain in her abdomen tomorrow. Depending on which doctor is there will depend on whether they take two days or four to complete that process.
Tonight, she gets her last dose of medicine for her heart, and they are supposed to do a heart echo early in the morning, or some time tomorrow if they don't have time in the morning. As of this evening, the lungs still seemed to have some fluid on them, but they weren't hearing a murmur. The echo with give them a better idea of what's going on.
She is also scheduled to have chest and abdomen x-rays done tomorrow to check on her lungs, and check to make sure there is no air in her gut anymore.
Also, they have been able to turn the pressures down on her vent. She still is needing more oxygen than they would like, but at least the pressures have been able to be turned down.
So, overall, things are still looking a little on the brighter side. And she appears to be back to her feisty little self--which is much improvement from a week ago when they discovered the air and stool in her gut, and she wasn't really moving around at all.
Thank you all for continued love and prayers for Serenity Hope! And for those who would like to continue on praying, here are some things to pray for:
*Heart echo will show NO hole!
*Heart medicine will have had NO side effects on her little body!
*Lungs will be cleared of fluid!
*She will require less oxygen from her vent!
*There will be NO air or stool in her gut!
*Her body will continue to heal and grow!
We weren't able to go to the hospital until this evening today. But that is better than not at all! Our sweet girl is looking SO. MUCH. BETTER. Her skin is looking pink, and a little less see-through. And Ryan and I both commented on how big her head looked. She has definitely been doing some growing. I'm excited to see how much she has grown when they measure and weigh her on Monday!
As for all the medical stuff... The plan is to start taking out the drain in her abdomen tomorrow. Depending on which doctor is there will depend on whether they take two days or four to complete that process.
Tonight, she gets her last dose of medicine for her heart, and they are supposed to do a heart echo early in the morning, or some time tomorrow if they don't have time in the morning. As of this evening, the lungs still seemed to have some fluid on them, but they weren't hearing a murmur. The echo with give them a better idea of what's going on.
She is also scheduled to have chest and abdomen x-rays done tomorrow to check on her lungs, and check to make sure there is no air in her gut anymore.
Also, they have been able to turn the pressures down on her vent. She still is needing more oxygen than they would like, but at least the pressures have been able to be turned down.
So, overall, things are still looking a little on the brighter side. And she appears to be back to her feisty little self--which is much improvement from a week ago when they discovered the air and stool in her gut, and she wasn't really moving around at all.
Thank you all for continued love and prayers for Serenity Hope! And for those who would like to continue on praying, here are some things to pray for:
*Heart echo will show NO hole!
*Heart medicine will have had NO side effects on her little body!
*Lungs will be cleared of fluid!
*She will require less oxygen from her vent!
*There will be NO air or stool in her gut!
*Her body will continue to heal and grow!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Serenity: 12 days old (Gestation age: 26 weeks)
Today we were finally able to go back to the hospital after not being able to go for a few days due to sickness in the house. And today was better. Not awesome, but better. I'll take better (I would take "same" also, but better is, well... better!).
The nurse was telling us that there has not been very much drainage coming from the drain in Serenity's abdomen. And what very little has been coming out, is clearish-yellow, which is good because that means there is no stool in it. They plan to begin trying to work on pulling the drain out starting on Friday. They will pull it out one centimeter a day, and it will take about four or five days. And once the drain is out, they plan to do a dye test to see if the hole in her intestine has healed.
As for Serenity's heart, the nurse said they weren't picking up a murmur today, so that is a really good sign! And (I hadn't realized this before) but apparently the murmur/hole is/was causing there to be fluid on her lungs. The nurse said there was still fluid, but there didn't appear to be as much today. The doctor didn't say that the hole was for sure healing, but it is looking good so far. They will be doing another heart echo either Friday or Saturday to see how the medicine is working.
And on an even happier note, the first medicine they are giving her for her heart doesn't appear to be effecting her kidneys or her brain bleed (so far). So that's awesome!
Thank you all for your love and prayers for our Serenity Hope. And we will hope and pray for even better news as the days go by!
The nurse was telling us that there has not been very much drainage coming from the drain in Serenity's abdomen. And what very little has been coming out, is clearish-yellow, which is good because that means there is no stool in it. They plan to begin trying to work on pulling the drain out starting on Friday. They will pull it out one centimeter a day, and it will take about four or five days. And once the drain is out, they plan to do a dye test to see if the hole in her intestine has healed.
As for Serenity's heart, the nurse said they weren't picking up a murmur today, so that is a really good sign! And (I hadn't realized this before) but apparently the murmur/hole is/was causing there to be fluid on her lungs. The nurse said there was still fluid, but there didn't appear to be as much today. The doctor didn't say that the hole was for sure healing, but it is looking good so far. They will be doing another heart echo either Friday or Saturday to see how the medicine is working.
And on an even happier note, the first medicine they are giving her for her heart doesn't appear to be effecting her kidneys or her brain bleed (so far). So that's awesome!
Thank you all for your love and prayers for our Serenity Hope. And we will hope and pray for even better news as the days go by!
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Serenity: 11 days old (Gestation age: 25 weeks 6 days)
Good morning everyone. I hope you all had a good night of rest! It was a little too warm for us to fall asleep well last night, but Ryan and I both eventually drifted off.
We talked to Serenity's doctor this morning, and the results from her brains scan are that her brain bleed is a grade one. This is great news! They use a one to four scale for brain bleeds. One being the least, four being the worst. Thankfully, she has the lowest grade bleed. So there is still a small risk of there being some damage, because wherever there is a bleed in the brain, that part of the brain cannot grow as it needs to. However, the risks are much, much smaller than a higher grade brain bleed. Praise God on High!!
We also were told the hole in Serenity's heart is small and blood is flowing like it needs to. So that is not all bad. But they are still going to discuss whether they want to leave the hole alone for now, or go ahead and close it. So we have to wait to see which they decide to do.
Part of one lung is still collapsed, but they have been able to continue turning down her oxygen. So there is positive and negative there. We were talking on the phone with the doctor and I couldn't understand what she was saying the plan of action is for the lung. But maybe when we call again I can get more information on that.
For now, we will just continue praying that it's God's plan to heal our precious girl. I know He loves her more than we do, and has her best interest in mind, so I will trust in that. Even if that means the outcome isn't exactly what we think is best for her--because we have no idea what kind of impact a different outcome could have. So we will keep trusting in our Lord, our Savior, our Healer, our Prince of Peace, that He has this all under control. And in the meantime, we will PRAISE HIM for the one step forward in progress. We will PRAISE HIM for the 11 days this beautiful, precious, perfect baby girl has been with us.
Thank you for continued prayers. Thank you for encouraging words. Thank you for loving our Serenity Hope.
I want to leave you with a song that is a help to me, which you can view here.
We talked to Serenity's doctor this morning, and the results from her brains scan are that her brain bleed is a grade one. This is great news! They use a one to four scale for brain bleeds. One being the least, four being the worst. Thankfully, she has the lowest grade bleed. So there is still a small risk of there being some damage, because wherever there is a bleed in the brain, that part of the brain cannot grow as it needs to. However, the risks are much, much smaller than a higher grade brain bleed. Praise God on High!!
We also were told the hole in Serenity's heart is small and blood is flowing like it needs to. So that is not all bad. But they are still going to discuss whether they want to leave the hole alone for now, or go ahead and close it. So we have to wait to see which they decide to do.
Part of one lung is still collapsed, but they have been able to continue turning down her oxygen. So there is positive and negative there. We were talking on the phone with the doctor and I couldn't understand what she was saying the plan of action is for the lung. But maybe when we call again I can get more information on that.
For now, we will just continue praying that it's God's plan to heal our precious girl. I know He loves her more than we do, and has her best interest in mind, so I will trust in that. Even if that means the outcome isn't exactly what we think is best for her--because we have no idea what kind of impact a different outcome could have. So we will keep trusting in our Lord, our Savior, our Healer, our Prince of Peace, that He has this all under control. And in the meantime, we will PRAISE HIM for the one step forward in progress. We will PRAISE HIM for the 11 days this beautiful, precious, perfect baby girl has been with us.
Thank you for continued prayers. Thank you for encouraging words. Thank you for loving our Serenity Hope.
I want to leave you with a song that is a help to me, which you can view here.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Serenity: 10 days old (Gestation age: 25 weeks 5 days)
I have been a little late getting the blog updated today. Sorry about that. I suppose I was waiting, hoping to have something to tell, but alas, it is night and there hasn't been much change.
They did do another heart echo today, but they have not gotten the results back for that. They also were scheduled to do another brain scan this morning, but had to push it off until later in the day due to things overlapping. So far we have no information about results for either.
The nurse did say they had to turn Serenity's oxygen up to 60% today but they were able to turn it back down to 43%. They are going to give her some medicine that is supposed to help her ween off the oxygen.
Mostly though, we are still sitting and waiting.
But thank you all for your love and support during this time in our lives. We have continued to be amazed with the kindness of everyone.
They did do another heart echo today, but they have not gotten the results back for that. They also were scheduled to do another brain scan this morning, but had to push it off until later in the day due to things overlapping. So far we have no information about results for either.
The nurse did say they had to turn Serenity's oxygen up to 60% today but they were able to turn it back down to 43%. They are going to give her some medicine that is supposed to help her ween off the oxygen.
Mostly though, we are still sitting and waiting.
But thank you all for your love and support during this time in our lives. We have continued to be amazed with the kindness of everyone.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
A Little Bit Of Happy
So I realize this will be my third blog post today, but I feel like I need this outlet. Today has been rough. I realize that there will be many rough days for as long as Serenity Hope is in the NICU, but that doesn't make me feel any better for today.
So for today, I will find the happy. And today, that happy comes from Liam, our 18 month old son.
This morning I had walked out of the kitchen for two seconds (okay, maybe it was more like 15 seconds) and came back in to find Liam sitting in the kitchen chair (very grown-up-like) and single-handedly drinking the last bit of coffee I had left in my coffee mug. He is not very practiced at drinking from a regular cup, so naturally there were streaks of coffee running from his mouth, all the way down his stomach.
I couldn't help but laugh at him when I found him in the state. The kid was drinking my coffee. And I just found it to be hilarious. Especially when I said his name loudly in a slight panicked tone and it startled him (because he wasn't supposed to be doing what he was doing).
A little while later (maybe five minutes) he was playing with the cooler we had brought with us that we thought had been emptied completely. He knocked it over somehow, and was sitting on the floor hollering because water came gushing out and soaked him. Again, I couldn't help but laugh.
So while today may not be a very happy day, and my heart may feel heavy, my little boy has brought me a little bit of happy.
So for today, I will find the happy. And today, that happy comes from Liam, our 18 month old son.
This morning I had walked out of the kitchen for two seconds (okay, maybe it was more like 15 seconds) and came back in to find Liam sitting in the kitchen chair (very grown-up-like) and single-handedly drinking the last bit of coffee I had left in my coffee mug. He is not very practiced at drinking from a regular cup, so naturally there were streaks of coffee running from his mouth, all the way down his stomach.
I couldn't help but laugh at him when I found him in the state. The kid was drinking my coffee. And I just found it to be hilarious. Especially when I said his name loudly in a slight panicked tone and it startled him (because he wasn't supposed to be doing what he was doing).
A little while later (maybe five minutes) he was playing with the cooler we had brought with us that we thought had been emptied completely. He knocked it over somehow, and was sitting on the floor hollering because water came gushing out and soaked him. Again, I couldn't help but laugh.
So while today may not be a very happy day, and my heart may feel heavy, my little boy has brought me a little bit of happy.
Serenity Hope: Update and specific prayer requests
I wish I had a happier blog to write this evening, but I do not. I wanted to write a second post for today because there are a couple of things that are new and some things that definitely need prayer.
One of the doctors in the NICU wanted to sit down with Ryan and me this evening for a consult. She wanted to talk about everything that is going on with Serenity currently and the worst case scenario for the issues she is having.
For now, the drain in her abdomen is working. We just have to wait to see if the hole is going to heal. I can't remember if I updated everyone on her brain scan in a previous post, but while doing the scan they found a suspicious area that could be blood or could be inflammation. They have planned to do another scan tomorrow to see which one it is. If it is blood, we look at possible future problems.
So our hope is that it was only inflammation. They also discovered that the vent tube was too far down in her lungs, and caused a portion at the top of the lungs to collapse because there was no air getting to it. So they have her laying on her side and have the vent repositioned to help the deflated area re-enflate. And lastly, they found a hole in her heart that hasn't closed yet, so she has a heart murmur.
Upon hearing everything we already knew, and hearing the new things that we didn't know yet, I was slightly discouraged. The more issues they add to the list, the more overwhelming it becomes. And then there is the last words the doctor left us with, and that is that we have to be prepared that things could go really bad at any moment. Serenity's condition is very fragile and critical. We really just don't know what might happen.
So my hope is that you all will lift up our baby girl in prayer. That we will all come together in the same mind with our requests to our Lord and Savior, and that He will hear our requests and that it will be His will to answer those prayers the way we hope Him to.
Here are the specifics that need lifted up in prayer:
*That the brain scan will be completely free of ANY suspicious spots
*That the lung will be re-enflated and working well
*That upon doing another heart echo, they will find the hole closed and not sign of a murmur
*That the hole in the intestine will be closed and healed
*That her body will be free of all infection
***And that God will work a miracle in Serenity, and make Himself known to everyone who knows her and her story
Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will not be shaken.
Psalm 62:5-6
One of the doctors in the NICU wanted to sit down with Ryan and me this evening for a consult. She wanted to talk about everything that is going on with Serenity currently and the worst case scenario for the issues she is having.
For now, the drain in her abdomen is working. We just have to wait to see if the hole is going to heal. I can't remember if I updated everyone on her brain scan in a previous post, but while doing the scan they found a suspicious area that could be blood or could be inflammation. They have planned to do another scan tomorrow to see which one it is. If it is blood, we look at possible future problems.
So our hope is that it was only inflammation. They also discovered that the vent tube was too far down in her lungs, and caused a portion at the top of the lungs to collapse because there was no air getting to it. So they have her laying on her side and have the vent repositioned to help the deflated area re-enflate. And lastly, they found a hole in her heart that hasn't closed yet, so she has a heart murmur.
Upon hearing everything we already knew, and hearing the new things that we didn't know yet, I was slightly discouraged. The more issues they add to the list, the more overwhelming it becomes. And then there is the last words the doctor left us with, and that is that we have to be prepared that things could go really bad at any moment. Serenity's condition is very fragile and critical. We really just don't know what might happen.
So my hope is that you all will lift up our baby girl in prayer. That we will all come together in the same mind with our requests to our Lord and Savior, and that He will hear our requests and that it will be His will to answer those prayers the way we hope Him to.
Here are the specifics that need lifted up in prayer:
*That the brain scan will be completely free of ANY suspicious spots
*That the lung will be re-enflated and working well
*That upon doing another heart echo, they will find the hole closed and not sign of a murmur
*That the hole in the intestine will be closed and healed
*That her body will be free of all infection
***And that God will work a miracle in Serenity, and make Himself known to everyone who knows her and her story
Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will not be shaken.
Psalm 62:5-6
Serenity: 9 days old (Gestation age: 25 weeks 4 days)
Hello to all on this beautiful day (at least, it is beautiful here in Lansing, Michigan).
Ryan made it back up here safe and sound yesterday, and I am so glad he is back! It's hard enough dealing with the ups and downs of having a baby in NICU, but it's worse when your best friend, the love of your life, your partner, your companion, your help-mate is not there by your side. I am so thankful he is for now.
As for little miss Serenity, I talked to the nurse this morning and there has not been much change. She is holding steady where she is at. It's not ideal, but I'll take that! Holding steady is better than getting worse. It's something to be thankful for!
They have changed some of her vent settings, and IV settings, and are giving her another blood transfusion today (as they have been taking so much blood and at this stage her body just doesn't produce more as quickly).
One bit of good is that she is off the jaundice lights completely for the moment. This is good because her body is not working hard to fight jaundice at this moment and can focus on fighting everything else going on with her tiny body.
So for now, not a lot has changed for the good or for the bad. We are just holding steady. However, she is still considered to be in critical condition, so we continue to ask for your prayers for our sweet girl.
Ryan made it back up here safe and sound yesterday, and I am so glad he is back! It's hard enough dealing with the ups and downs of having a baby in NICU, but it's worse when your best friend, the love of your life, your partner, your companion, your help-mate is not there by your side. I am so thankful he is for now.
As for little miss Serenity, I talked to the nurse this morning and there has not been much change. She is holding steady where she is at. It's not ideal, but I'll take that! Holding steady is better than getting worse. It's something to be thankful for!
They have changed some of her vent settings, and IV settings, and are giving her another blood transfusion today (as they have been taking so much blood and at this stage her body just doesn't produce more as quickly).
One bit of good is that she is off the jaundice lights completely for the moment. This is good because her body is not working hard to fight jaundice at this moment and can focus on fighting everything else going on with her tiny body.
So for now, not a lot has changed for the good or for the bad. We are just holding steady. However, she is still considered to be in critical condition, so we continue to ask for your prayers for our sweet girl.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Serenity: 8 days old (Gestation age: 25 weeks 3 days)
Today I am unmotivated to write. There is not much in the way of new information to tell. However, I know that everyone has been enjoying knowing how she is doing.
I talked to the nurse this morning and she said that everything was about the same as it was yesterday. They did give her some pallets to help her blood clot a little better. They also talked about changing some of her IV settings. But other than that, there hasn't been much change.
One good thing though, is the drain seems to be doing it's job. I'm so thankful that it is working and getting all of the toxic bacteria out of her tiny little body. Now we just have to pray that the hole heals quickly and that she does not get an infection.
Thank you all for your continued prayers for Serenity and for our family. This has been one of the hardest things I have ever experienced, I believe. I have been trying to trust God completely and have grown closer to Him throughout this whole thing -- but I am very human, and sometimes it is hard to trust. I know, though, that whatever God's plan is for our sweet Serenity, it will be what is perfect for her. That is hard to fathom, but it is also comforting knowing that God has her very best interest in mind.
I love you all, and I thank you for caring so much about our baby girl, and for keeping her in you prayers.
I talked to the nurse this morning and she said that everything was about the same as it was yesterday. They did give her some pallets to help her blood clot a little better. They also talked about changing some of her IV settings. But other than that, there hasn't been much change.
One good thing though, is the drain seems to be doing it's job. I'm so thankful that it is working and getting all of the toxic bacteria out of her tiny little body. Now we just have to pray that the hole heals quickly and that she does not get an infection.
Thank you all for your continued prayers for Serenity and for our family. This has been one of the hardest things I have ever experienced, I believe. I have been trying to trust God completely and have grown closer to Him throughout this whole thing -- but I am very human, and sometimes it is hard to trust. I know, though, that whatever God's plan is for our sweet Serenity, it will be what is perfect for her. That is hard to fathom, but it is also comforting knowing that God has her very best interest in mind.
I love you all, and I thank you for caring so much about our baby girl, and for keeping her in you prayers.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
*Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)*
Friday, July 12, 2013
Serenity: 7 days old (Gestation age: 25 weeks 2 days)
Hello all. Today's update is a little less happy and exciting as some of the others. This morning began with a phone call from Serenity's nurse. That was scary to start with, as they normally wouldn't call you unless something was wrong.
The nurse was calling to tell me that Serenity was not doing very well. They had discovered that she had air in her abdomen on the outside of her intestines. They also had to put her back on the vent (tube going down her throat for breathing). The vent is technically a step backwards, but it puts me more at ease for the moment because it can do all of the breathing for her--and in her condition, she probably really needs that.
Upon hearing the news about our little girl not doing so well, and that the doctors needed to do a procedure, I made my way to the hospital as quickly as possible. Thankfully, my Mother-in-love was able to turn around (she was on her way to work) and take me. It was good to have someone with me so I didn't have to be there by myself.
When we got to the NICU, a few different doctors explained to us what exactly was going on. There was a hole somewhere in Serenity's intestines that was releasing stool and air into her abdomen. Thankfully they believe they caught it fairly early, which is a really good thing. But a procedure needed to be done to remove the air and stool. They needed to place a drain tube into her abdomen for everything to drain out. Unfortunately there was a risk of them hitting her liver when doing this, as their liver at this age takes up much more room in their body than an adult's liver does in an adult body. If they were to accidentally hit the liver, and it started bleeding, we would most likely lose her.
Praise the Lord, though, the procedure went well! They were able to get the drain tube in with no problems, and the doctor was able flush out a bunch of stool. I also just talked to the nurse and it appears that for now, the drain is working! Now we just have to wait and see if the drain will continue to work, and if we see improvement. Our hope is that the hole with begin to heal very soon, and they will be seeing less and less drainage. And also, we hope that there will be no infection.
The waiting game is the most difficult part. My want is for the stool to all be gone, and the hole to be fixed. But I know that her body needs time to heal.
So now we wait.
Please continue to pray for our little girl. She is being considered "stable yet critical". And this is a moment by moment kind of thing. None of the nurses or doctors where able to give us any percentages or statistics on the outcome of this situation, so we literally just have to pray the each moment her body will be healing and that each moment she will continue to get better.
The nurse was calling to tell me that Serenity was not doing very well. They had discovered that she had air in her abdomen on the outside of her intestines. They also had to put her back on the vent (tube going down her throat for breathing). The vent is technically a step backwards, but it puts me more at ease for the moment because it can do all of the breathing for her--and in her condition, she probably really needs that.
Upon hearing the news about our little girl not doing so well, and that the doctors needed to do a procedure, I made my way to the hospital as quickly as possible. Thankfully, my Mother-in-love was able to turn around (she was on her way to work) and take me. It was good to have someone with me so I didn't have to be there by myself.
When we got to the NICU, a few different doctors explained to us what exactly was going on. There was a hole somewhere in Serenity's intestines that was releasing stool and air into her abdomen. Thankfully they believe they caught it fairly early, which is a really good thing. But a procedure needed to be done to remove the air and stool. They needed to place a drain tube into her abdomen for everything to drain out. Unfortunately there was a risk of them hitting her liver when doing this, as their liver at this age takes up much more room in their body than an adult's liver does in an adult body. If they were to accidentally hit the liver, and it started bleeding, we would most likely lose her.
Praise the Lord, though, the procedure went well! They were able to get the drain tube in with no problems, and the doctor was able flush out a bunch of stool. I also just talked to the nurse and it appears that for now, the drain is working! Now we just have to wait and see if the drain will continue to work, and if we see improvement. Our hope is that the hole with begin to heal very soon, and they will be seeing less and less drainage. And also, we hope that there will be no infection.
The waiting game is the most difficult part. My want is for the stool to all be gone, and the hole to be fixed. But I know that her body needs time to heal.
So now we wait.
Please continue to pray for our little girl. She is being considered "stable yet critical". And this is a moment by moment kind of thing. None of the nurses or doctors where able to give us any percentages or statistics on the outcome of this situation, so we literally just have to pray the each moment her body will be healing and that each moment she will continue to get better.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Serenity: 6 days old (Gestation age: 25 weeks 1 day)
This morning, I woke up very early (4am) to get ready to go to the hospital. I have to get up that early to pump anyways, so I figured I would just get up and be productive. Plus, this allowed me to be at the hospital while Liam was still sleeping so I could be at the house around the time he woke up to help with him. I think Serenity's nurse was surprised to see me there that early. ;)
The report for today was not as encouraging for me as many others had been though. The nurse began explaining that Serenity had "forgotten to breathe" a few times in the middle of the night. This is a typical thing for preemies, however it still does not make this mommy's heart very encouraged. The nurse said they try to let the babies come out of it on their own, but they don't let them go for too long because when they stop breathing, it is a lack of oxygen to the brain. And when the brain does not get enough oxygen too often, or for too long, it can cause brain damage. This is a scary thought for me. I know we will love her the same no matter what, but as her mommy, I want her to be okay.
Another thing she had trouble with during the night was her blood gas levels--this deals with the oxygen levels in her blood. The nurse said they weren't bad, but they weren't good either. When they checked her blood gas levels again this morning at 6am, they were still the same as they had been throughout the night. If I remember correctly, if they cannot get her blood gases to stay up where they need to be, she may need to go back on the ventilator (tube down her throat). This would definitely be a step backward. And the nurse said they want to be careful keeping them on the ventilator too long so it doesn't cause damage to their lungs or throat.
The nurse was also telling me that she has been spitting up some of the yucky bile that they have been getting out of her stomach. This makes me sad because that means she still cannot have any milk. Which makes me even more sad because I could tell she had lost more weight. When I mentioned that she looked like she had lost more weight, the nurse weighed her and she is now down to 1 lb 2 oz. And I can tell. It was very hard for me to look at her today because she looked so sickly. It broke my heart. I know it's normal for babies to lose some when they are first born, but even for a full term baby, it is very important that they quickly get back up to their birth weight and continue gaining. So I can imagine it is especially important for a baby as tiny as Serenity to put her weight back on.
As my visit went on, I found out that there indeed was an infection, and that is the reason I went into labor, and the reason they could not stop it. It's a miracle that she stayed in the womb as long as she did. God was hearing those prayers for sure! But the infection is another concern I have--especially with her white blood cell count being elevated.
So as our sweet baby comes to your mind, please be praying for her.
If you want to pray more specifically, please pray about these things:
* that her blood gas levels stay in the good range
* that her little body will remember how to keep breathing
* that her white blood cell count goes down to normal
* that there is no infection in her little body
* and that her tummy will begin to work properly so that she can eat and gain weight
THANK YOU all for your diligence in praying for Serenity. One day down the road, if it's God's plan for Serenity's life, I look forward to telling her of all the hundreds of people that prayed her through her time being born and through her time in the NICU.
The report for today was not as encouraging for me as many others had been though. The nurse began explaining that Serenity had "forgotten to breathe" a few times in the middle of the night. This is a typical thing for preemies, however it still does not make this mommy's heart very encouraged. The nurse said they try to let the babies come out of it on their own, but they don't let them go for too long because when they stop breathing, it is a lack of oxygen to the brain. And when the brain does not get enough oxygen too often, or for too long, it can cause brain damage. This is a scary thought for me. I know we will love her the same no matter what, but as her mommy, I want her to be okay.
Another thing she had trouble with during the night was her blood gas levels--this deals with the oxygen levels in her blood. The nurse said they weren't bad, but they weren't good either. When they checked her blood gas levels again this morning at 6am, they were still the same as they had been throughout the night. If I remember correctly, if they cannot get her blood gases to stay up where they need to be, she may need to go back on the ventilator (tube down her throat). This would definitely be a step backward. And the nurse said they want to be careful keeping them on the ventilator too long so it doesn't cause damage to their lungs or throat.
The nurse was also telling me that she has been spitting up some of the yucky bile that they have been getting out of her stomach. This makes me sad because that means she still cannot have any milk. Which makes me even more sad because I could tell she had lost more weight. When I mentioned that she looked like she had lost more weight, the nurse weighed her and she is now down to 1 lb 2 oz. And I can tell. It was very hard for me to look at her today because she looked so sickly. It broke my heart. I know it's normal for babies to lose some when they are first born, but even for a full term baby, it is very important that they quickly get back up to their birth weight and continue gaining. So I can imagine it is especially important for a baby as tiny as Serenity to put her weight back on.
As my visit went on, I found out that there indeed was an infection, and that is the reason I went into labor, and the reason they could not stop it. It's a miracle that she stayed in the womb as long as she did. God was hearing those prayers for sure! But the infection is another concern I have--especially with her white blood cell count being elevated.
So as our sweet baby comes to your mind, please be praying for her.
If you want to pray more specifically, please pray about these things:
* that her blood gas levels stay in the good range
* that her little body will remember how to keep breathing
* that her white blood cell count goes down to normal
* that there is no infection in her little body
* and that her tummy will begin to work properly so that she can eat and gain weight
THANK YOU all for your diligence in praying for Serenity. One day down the road, if it's God's plan for Serenity's life, I look forward to telling her of all the hundreds of people that prayed her through her time being born and through her time in the NICU.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Serenity: 5 days old (gestation age: 25 weeks)
Hello all! I thought I would update everyone again, as I know many people are still praying for our family and sweet little Serenity Hope. (Thank you, again, by the way!)
I was able to spend a good chunk of the day with our baby girl today. It was nice. Being there for a longer period of time allowed me to catch them in the act of taking out one of the lines that was inserted into her umbilical chord. Although, I'm a bit squeamish when it comes to medical things, so I had to look away a few times.
To update you all on Serenity's condition based off my last post:
They found some suspicious looking things in her blood panels along with an elevated white blood cell count, so they put her back on some antibiotics to make sure there isn't an infection and to hopefully help keep her from getting one.
In my last post, she was also getting very small amounts of colostrum--which she was doing very well with at first. Today, when they "pumped" her stomach to see how she was doing on it, they found some yucky stuff. So, they have stopped giving her colostrum for now, as her stomach does not appear to be ready for it just yet.
Yesterday they had taken the breathing tube that goes down her throat (ventilator), and were going to put her on a ram cannula, but the nose piece was too large for her, so they put her on a sipap machine (similar to a c-pap) instead. However, with the sipap her CO2 levels were too high, but thankfully they were able to find a ram cannula nose piece small enough to fit her, and were able to switch to that. She does pause her breathing from time to time, as with preemies, sometimes they literally forget to breathe. But the nurses keep a close eye on them and pat there back or chest to remind them to breathe. At first this sounded scary to me (which I guess it still does), but the nurse said it is very normal, and that even some 30-weekers still forget to breathe, that sometimes it takes them a while to grow out of it.
Even though all of this sounds much worse than how she was doing just a day or two ago, Serenity has still come so far and is doing extremely well! In fact, on my way out of the NICU last night, the couple in the unit next to Serenity stopped me to rave about how incredibly well she is doing for her age. I mentioned to them that I had been thinking the nurses were just being nice, that they probably tell all of the parents that their baby is doing really well--which according to the couple, that's not the case. Serenity, in their opinion, is doing extremely well. I cannot express how happy this made my heart. To know that there have been hundreds (maybe even thousands, when I really think about it) of people praying for our little girl, and then to know how well she is doing, is a huge blessing to my heart.
I would like ask that everyone continue to pray for her, as she does still have a long way to go, even though she is doing so well. Thank you in advance for taking the time to pray for our little girl. It means so much to Ryan and me.
I was able to spend a good chunk of the day with our baby girl today. It was nice. Being there for a longer period of time allowed me to catch them in the act of taking out one of the lines that was inserted into her umbilical chord. Although, I'm a bit squeamish when it comes to medical things, so I had to look away a few times.
To update you all on Serenity's condition based off my last post:
They found some suspicious looking things in her blood panels along with an elevated white blood cell count, so they put her back on some antibiotics to make sure there isn't an infection and to hopefully help keep her from getting one.
In my last post, she was also getting very small amounts of colostrum--which she was doing very well with at first. Today, when they "pumped" her stomach to see how she was doing on it, they found some yucky stuff. So, they have stopped giving her colostrum for now, as her stomach does not appear to be ready for it just yet.
Yesterday they had taken the breathing tube that goes down her throat (ventilator), and were going to put her on a ram cannula, but the nose piece was too large for her, so they put her on a sipap machine (similar to a c-pap) instead. However, with the sipap her CO2 levels were too high, but thankfully they were able to find a ram cannula nose piece small enough to fit her, and were able to switch to that. She does pause her breathing from time to time, as with preemies, sometimes they literally forget to breathe. But the nurses keep a close eye on them and pat there back or chest to remind them to breathe. At first this sounded scary to me (which I guess it still does), but the nurse said it is very normal, and that even some 30-weekers still forget to breathe, that sometimes it takes them a while to grow out of it.
Even though all of this sounds much worse than how she was doing just a day or two ago, Serenity has still come so far and is doing extremely well! In fact, on my way out of the NICU last night, the couple in the unit next to Serenity stopped me to rave about how incredibly well she is doing for her age. I mentioned to them that I had been thinking the nurses were just being nice, that they probably tell all of the parents that their baby is doing really well--which according to the couple, that's not the case. Serenity, in their opinion, is doing extremely well. I cannot express how happy this made my heart. To know that there have been hundreds (maybe even thousands, when I really think about it) of people praying for our little girl, and then to know how well she is doing, is a huge blessing to my heart.
I would like ask that everyone continue to pray for her, as she does still have a long way to go, even though she is doing so well. Thank you in advance for taking the time to pray for our little girl. It means so much to Ryan and me.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Serenity: 3 days old.
Last night, Ryan and I went up to the hospital to visit Serenity before he would be making his first trip back to Missouri without us. When we first walked in, Serenity's nurse introduced herself right away and seemed very nice, and very involved with everything that is going on with her, just like all the other's we have met so far. She was enthusiastic to show us that she had given Serenity a pacifier, and she was using it!! You see, earlier in the day they had given her a small amount of colostrum (which was her first taste of real food!) and I guess it had already kick-started her stomach and she had been sucking on her fist, so the nurse thought to try a Pacifier. It was so amazing and encouraging for us to see her doing something as small as sucking on a pacifier--something a baby would normally do.
As we sat there admiring our baby girl with her pacifier, the nurse went on to explain to us that she was off of everything that was helping her body regulate her body except the breathing machine--other than that she is just receiving nutrition fluids. And even with the breathing machine, they have it turned on about the lowest setting and she is doing the majority of the work herself. So it's possible that very soon they will be able to remove the breathing tube and just have the piece that fits to her nose.
For us, this was the most encouraging visit thus far! It was such a blessing to physically see with our own eyes, all of the prayers that had been lifted up for her, being answered.
As we sat there admiring our baby girl with her pacifier, the nurse went on to explain to us that she was off of everything that was helping her body regulate her body except the breathing machine--other than that she is just receiving nutrition fluids. And even with the breathing machine, they have it turned on about the lowest setting and she is doing the majority of the work herself. So it's possible that very soon they will be able to remove the breathing tube and just have the piece that fits to her nose.
For us, this was the most encouraging visit thus far! It was such a blessing to physically see with our own eyes, all of the prayers that had been lifted up for her, being answered.
Monday, July 8, 2013
A Week We Will Never Forget
As many who may be reading this know, this week has been an unforgettable one for our family. This week was planned as being a Fourth of July vacation with Ryan's family. We arrived at our destination Monday, July 1st, in the early evening. We were able to surprise Ryan's parents (they didn't know we were visiting). And very shortly after the surprise I talked to my doctor on the phone about the spotting I had been having, which he seemed not too concerned with the week before. I talked to him because upon arriving in Michigan, the signals my body was giving had changed. The spotting was only slightly worse than before, but it was now red, which was enough for me to be worried. And I was thinking I was feeling some cramping, but wasn't sure because I thought it could be my mind playing tricks on me.
When I talked to my doctor, he told me to go to labor and deliver right away as it was something that concerned him. Well, I was out of state, so I just had to go to the closest hospital that took our insurance. We arrived at the hospital sometime around 7 or 8 that evening. Unfortunately, there seemed to be a lot of people that needed medical attention that same night, so we had to wait until I could be taken back to be examined. During our wait time, I noticed what I had thought might be some cramping was definitely turning in cramping. They checked me and said i was dilated to 2 cm. Which is not horrible in its self, even if it is undesirable. But when I said the contractions were beginning to come about every 3 to 5 minutes and they were beginning to hurt, this seemed to kick them into gear a little bit. They hooked me up to the IV and some magnesium sulfate and put me in a labor and delivery room. I would like to add that magnesium sulfate is no fun to have running through your veins as it makes you feel like you're on fire, and it makes you feel like you have the flu.
After being on the magnesium to help protect the baby's brain, and being given two steroid shots to help develop the baby's lungs, and getting the contractions under control, they wanted to see if an infection was causing the premature labor. The reason for this is, if there was an infection they did not want to stop the labor as it would be safer for the baby to be outside of the infection rather than inside with it. Plus, if there was infection, there was a threat to myself as well. In order to test for infection, they had to do an amniocentesis. A procedure I did not enjoy, and prefer to never have to do again. It was also a hard decision for us to make as there were pros and cons to doing the test and pros and cons to not doing it.
After the amniocentesis, the labor seemed to be under control, so they moved me to a different room. Things seemed stable at that point, and my mind switched to thinking about how long I was going to be on bed rest, which at that point was seeming like a very long time. I was still able to get up to go to the bathroom though, so it really wasn't as bad as I had thought. As the day went by on Wednesday, toward evening I began experiencing more bleeding. The doctor came in to do an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid to see if it was leaking. When she saw that the fluid looked fine, she decided to do an exam to see if maybe I had dilated some more. What she found instead was the amniotic sack that was trying to make its way out through the room the cervix had given it by being 2 cm dilated. They immediately rushed me over to labor and delivery, thinking the baby was going to come at any second. This was very emotional for us, and everything was very rushed and intense.
Surprisingly to the doctors, my water never broke, and our sweet baby girl continued to hang out in my uterus. This was a huge answer to prayer, because the longer we could keep her inside the better chance she had of survival. Night turned to morning, and combined with the medicine they were giving me, and being laid completely flat, and even sometimes with my head lower than my feet, we had another several hours of her staying in the womb. This wast great! As another surprise to the doctors, our sweet little girl was able to stay in the womb until she she was 24 weeks and 2 days, on Friday evening.
Everything happened so fast on Friday, it seemed like. I had begun feeling frequent, painful contractions, for which we decided an epidural would be the best and safest option for relief and in case of an emergency c-section. The epidural seemed to help the pain for a couple of hours, and then I began to feel contractions again. At one point, I had a pretty strong contraction, and felt a gush of fluids, which up until this point had just been blood. When the nurse checked me, she had a somewhat quizzical look on her face. She was trying to figure out if my water had broken. After a minute or two, she said she thought the color change in fluid was due to the catheter line leaking. But, the doctor, who had also come in to check things out, decided to leave the room to get the ultrasound machine so she could make sure I wasn't more dilated. No sooner had she left the room, I looked at the nurse and said, "She coming out!" The nurse was quite calm, and paged for the NICU team to come down. A new doctor, the main delivery doctor (whom I had not met up until his point), came into the room, took a glance and gave me instructions to push with everything I had as soon as I felt pressure. My nurse was not quite as enthusiastic just yet and leaned in closely to me and said, "Don't push yet, wait for the NICU team to get here. There will be here any second." So I listened to the nurse, because I realized the team needed to be there as soon as this baby girl was born. Thankfully, they arrived seconds later, because I had another strong contraction and needed to push. This baby girl was coming, and she was coming fast! I only had to push once and she was born. Everything happened so very quickly--all in about three minutes.
After she was born, the NICU team began quickly working on her. I don't remember much of this part. I felt like I was in a daze. We had been warned ahead of time that the NICU team would be calling out information and orders that might sound pretty scary, so I tried not to listen. Thankfully, it wasn't too difficult to block out all the sound. I felt like I wasn't even really in the room. Everything was so surreal.
Those next few minutes follow the birth where full of anxiety though, even though I was attempting to not listen to what they were saying. We had to wait to see if she was going to stay alive. Those are difficult thoughts to deal with. But God was hearing all of the prayers for our little girl, and it was in His Will to answer them. So our sweet baby survived and was rushed up to the NICU, where she has been residing since Friday evening.
This week will be one we will never forget. We will never forget the anxious thoughts and feelings. We will never forget the hundreds of people who prayed for us and our baby girl. We will never forget the peace that God gave us the whole way through. A peace that makes no sense, that surpasses all understanding. This week will be one to remember always. The birth of our perfect baby girl, Serenity Hope.
When I talked to my doctor, he told me to go to labor and deliver right away as it was something that concerned him. Well, I was out of state, so I just had to go to the closest hospital that took our insurance. We arrived at the hospital sometime around 7 or 8 that evening. Unfortunately, there seemed to be a lot of people that needed medical attention that same night, so we had to wait until I could be taken back to be examined. During our wait time, I noticed what I had thought might be some cramping was definitely turning in cramping. They checked me and said i was dilated to 2 cm. Which is not horrible in its self, even if it is undesirable. But when I said the contractions were beginning to come about every 3 to 5 minutes and they were beginning to hurt, this seemed to kick them into gear a little bit. They hooked me up to the IV and some magnesium sulfate and put me in a labor and delivery room. I would like to add that magnesium sulfate is no fun to have running through your veins as it makes you feel like you're on fire, and it makes you feel like you have the flu.
After being on the magnesium to help protect the baby's brain, and being given two steroid shots to help develop the baby's lungs, and getting the contractions under control, they wanted to see if an infection was causing the premature labor. The reason for this is, if there was an infection they did not want to stop the labor as it would be safer for the baby to be outside of the infection rather than inside with it. Plus, if there was infection, there was a threat to myself as well. In order to test for infection, they had to do an amniocentesis. A procedure I did not enjoy, and prefer to never have to do again. It was also a hard decision for us to make as there were pros and cons to doing the test and pros and cons to not doing it.
After the amniocentesis, the labor seemed to be under control, so they moved me to a different room. Things seemed stable at that point, and my mind switched to thinking about how long I was going to be on bed rest, which at that point was seeming like a very long time. I was still able to get up to go to the bathroom though, so it really wasn't as bad as I had thought. As the day went by on Wednesday, toward evening I began experiencing more bleeding. The doctor came in to do an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid to see if it was leaking. When she saw that the fluid looked fine, she decided to do an exam to see if maybe I had dilated some more. What she found instead was the amniotic sack that was trying to make its way out through the room the cervix had given it by being 2 cm dilated. They immediately rushed me over to labor and delivery, thinking the baby was going to come at any second. This was very emotional for us, and everything was very rushed and intense.
Surprisingly to the doctors, my water never broke, and our sweet baby girl continued to hang out in my uterus. This was a huge answer to prayer, because the longer we could keep her inside the better chance she had of survival. Night turned to morning, and combined with the medicine they were giving me, and being laid completely flat, and even sometimes with my head lower than my feet, we had another several hours of her staying in the womb. This wast great! As another surprise to the doctors, our sweet little girl was able to stay in the womb until she she was 24 weeks and 2 days, on Friday evening.
Everything happened so fast on Friday, it seemed like. I had begun feeling frequent, painful contractions, for which we decided an epidural would be the best and safest option for relief and in case of an emergency c-section. The epidural seemed to help the pain for a couple of hours, and then I began to feel contractions again. At one point, I had a pretty strong contraction, and felt a gush of fluids, which up until this point had just been blood. When the nurse checked me, she had a somewhat quizzical look on her face. She was trying to figure out if my water had broken. After a minute or two, she said she thought the color change in fluid was due to the catheter line leaking. But, the doctor, who had also come in to check things out, decided to leave the room to get the ultrasound machine so she could make sure I wasn't more dilated. No sooner had she left the room, I looked at the nurse and said, "She coming out!" The nurse was quite calm, and paged for the NICU team to come down. A new doctor, the main delivery doctor (whom I had not met up until his point), came into the room, took a glance and gave me instructions to push with everything I had as soon as I felt pressure. My nurse was not quite as enthusiastic just yet and leaned in closely to me and said, "Don't push yet, wait for the NICU team to get here. There will be here any second." So I listened to the nurse, because I realized the team needed to be there as soon as this baby girl was born. Thankfully, they arrived seconds later, because I had another strong contraction and needed to push. This baby girl was coming, and she was coming fast! I only had to push once and she was born. Everything happened so very quickly--all in about three minutes.
After she was born, the NICU team began quickly working on her. I don't remember much of this part. I felt like I was in a daze. We had been warned ahead of time that the NICU team would be calling out information and orders that might sound pretty scary, so I tried not to listen. Thankfully, it wasn't too difficult to block out all the sound. I felt like I wasn't even really in the room. Everything was so surreal.
Those next few minutes follow the birth where full of anxiety though, even though I was attempting to not listen to what they were saying. We had to wait to see if she was going to stay alive. Those are difficult thoughts to deal with. But God was hearing all of the prayers for our little girl, and it was in His Will to answer them. So our sweet baby survived and was rushed up to the NICU, where she has been residing since Friday evening.
This week will be one we will never forget. We will never forget the anxious thoughts and feelings. We will never forget the hundreds of people who prayed for us and our baby girl. We will never forget the peace that God gave us the whole way through. A peace that makes no sense, that surpasses all understanding. This week will be one to remember always. The birth of our perfect baby girl, Serenity Hope.
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