Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013

Today is the last day of 2013.  I suppose I should join the blogging world in posting a reflection of the past year.  Most everyone already knows what the majority of our year has looked like.  But just for the sake of reflection -- allow me to recap.

The year started off with a bang. Liam had contracted--what, at the time, we believe to be--Hand foot and Mouth Disease.  The more I've seen of this disease, the less I believe that is really what he had.  Regardless, I began my year by being stuck in the house nearly 24/7.  Although, I was still working hard to train for a 5k with one of my best friends.  I loved our morning runs.  I felt so good on our run morning because I was doing something I had always wanted to do, but hadn't had the motivation to follow through with.

In February, we found out we were pregnant with our second child.  Soon after finding out, the morning sickness hit full force.  At that point, the running came to a halt.  And multiple other normal activities ceased as I was once again confined to the house--and more specifically the bed or couch.

The morning sickness eventually simmered down, and things went back to normal.  And we found out that our newest addition to the family was going to be a girl!  We both were ecstatic.  And excited about getting to buy girly frills.

Next we began thinking about how we would spend the Fourth of July holiday.  And it was decided that we would spend the holiday with Ryan's family in Lansing, Michigan.  The week before our trip to Michigan, Ryan was at youth camp, and Liam and I spent that week with my parents.  After some concerning symptoms during that week, and after talking to the doctor, we decided to continue on with our plans to Lansing.

And as everyone knows, our Fourth of July vacation to Lansing ended up lasting nearly the rest of the year.  Our sweet little Serenity was born.  So teeny tiny.  So fragile.  So beautiful.  We were in shock. Neither of us really knew what to think or how to feel.  If you had asked us at the beginning of the year, we would never had guessed that we would give birth to our daughter at 24 weeks and 2 days gestation.

Nonetheless, it happened.  And there we were, in Lansing, Michigan, with a daughter the length of a ruler, that could easily and comfortably fit inside a cantaloupe.  We were living one of the most difficult battles a parent has to fight.  And the hours turned into days.  The days turned into weeks.  And the weeks turned into months.  In the beginning, looking out across the future, it felt like the journey we were on would last forever, and be painfully long.  But after awhile, Lansing became home, and the NICU became our life.  For 5 months, this was our life.  These people became our friends, our family.

Then, before we knew it, we had come to the end of our NICU roller coaster.  And although our roller coaster took a different path than most others, it was our path. It was unique to us.  It was special.  Serenity would not be coming home with us, but instead went to her eternal home.  Where she was not longer in pain and discomfort, and completely healed.

So now, with a new year, brings new beginnings.  Our family learns how to navigate our new normal.  We learn how to cope with the loss of our tiny daughter than never reached the size of a term baby, and who fought so hard for so long.  We learn how to trust God in everything, just as we have been learning this past year.  We learn how to give thanks in ALL things, because everything the Lord does is good.  Here's to a new year, and a new normal.







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