The Big Day

Today is the day. The Big Day. Serenity's due date.

Serenity is 40 weeks Gestation age. Or, 0 days old in adjusted age. Or, 15 weeks 5 days in literal age. However you want to say it, she has reached the Big Day.

Let's talk about where Serenity is today, in terms of growth:
She is 3 pounds 8.1 ounces (unfortunately we don't know her dry weight (dry weight = weight without all the extra fluid she is holding on her body))
And she is 14 and 3/4 inches long.

So, she is not as big as a typical term baby would be if she would have waited to be born until today, but she has grown since she was born at 24 weeks and 2 days, weighing in at 1 pound 6.2 ounces, and 12 inches long.

Today has been sort of strange, not surreal, just strange. Having my mind on my sweet girl, and thinking about it being her due date, and thinking about how if things would have happened the "ideal" way, we would be taking our sweet, brand new baby girl home in a couple of days. But that will not be the case. Serenity will continue to stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for quite a while longer.

As for how Serenity, she doesn't realize today is a big day. She doesn't realize all of the thoughts flooding our minds and hearts.

The past 110 days, 15 weeks 5 days, however you want to look at it, have been, as they said in the beginning it would be, a roller coaster. The place she is now is not horrible, but it's not a good enough place to talk about sending her home anytime soon. She is still on the vent. However, there is talk around the NICU about extubating her soon. She now has a chest tube allowing the fluid in her chest to continuously drain out, since the fluid they extracted out of her chest came back, plus some. And they are currently trying to figure out what exactly is the reason for it. Also, the mucus fistula (bottom half of intestines) is still not in working order. Although, no one has been jumping up to take action to find out what is going on with the mucus fistula--I hope that will be a topic of discussion very soon.

I am thankful, though, for the care I have been able to give Serenity. I may not be able to do much, but any little bit helps me feel like I am able to take care of her at least to some degree. I have been able to give her baths when I am there during the times she needs one. And I am able to change her diaper when I am there during the time the nurses do their hands on assessment (which is when they change the diaper). The nurses have even taught me how to suction out her vent tube which is essentially suctioning out her lungs. And they have shown me how to give her a suction support breath, which gives her some extra oxygen long enough for her to recover from being suctioned. And then there are the little things such as giving her a pacifier and covering her with a blanket when she needs those things.

For now, though, we look forward to tomorrow, and many more tomorrows to come. Living day by day. Enjoying the good moments, and praying ourselves through the bad ones.